EST. 2026
Today's Specials
VOL. 1 — NO. 36
TONIGHT'S SPECIAL Pg. 22

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TONIGHT'S SPECIAL

Cooking: Red Cards (Edible)

Hearts and Diamonds. Something edible. Suit determines how much.

Red Cards: Edible Components

Red card = something edible. Rank = what you draw. Suit = how much of it.

♥ Hearts: abundant. A lot of it. ♦ Diamonds: just a trace.

RankComponent♥ Draw…♦ Draw…
ASomething that came up from the ground. Still has dirt on it.It fills whatever you put it in.A single piece. The dirt is still there.
2Something that’s technically a fruit. Nobody thinks of it that way.Sliced and layered, covering everything.One slice. Placed with intention.
3Something with a shell, a rind, or a skin you probably shouldn’t eat.The whole thing, casing and all.Just the inside. The outside didn’t make it.
4Something the wrong color for what it is.Unmissable. The whole dish is that color now.One piece. Easy to miss. Impossible to explain.
5Something you’d find near water. Or that clearly wishes it were.Heaped up. Still a little damp.A small piece. Still damp.
6Something soft. The kind of soft that surprises you every time.Spread across the base of everything.A small spoonful. Handle with care.
7Something very round. Suspiciously round.A pile of them, touching.One. Just one.
8Something that required a tool to open. The tool was not provided.The full contents, extracted.Most of the contents. Some did not survive.
9Something tiny, repeated many times. Together, they’re the point.Scattered across the dish.A small cluster in one corner.
10Something that used to be larger. The process is still visible.Enough that you can tell what it was.Just enough to wonder.
JSomething that grows in a spiral or a curl.Spiraling over the top of everything.One curl. Placed carefully.
QSomething that’s actually two or three things stuck together.A whole section of the plate.One small piece. You can count exactly how many parts.
KSomething you cannot name. You’ve seen it before. In a dream, maybe.It’s the main event. Everything else is arranged around it.A sliver. You’re not sure you should eat it. You will.